Title: Love and Lists (Book #1 in the Chocoholics Series)
Author: Tara Sivec
Release: October 01, 2013
Rating: 5 Stars *****
Blurb:
Love and Lists is the first book in the Chocolate Lovers spin off Chocoholics: The foulmouthed offspring tell their stories. Twenty-five year old Gavin Ellis has always had the love and support of his family ever since he was a little boy and couldn't stop talking about his penis. He's also always had their unsolicited advice and uncanny knack of embarrassing him at all costs. Now that he's an adult and trying to convince the love of his life to love him back, things haven't changed very much from when he was younger.
When Gavin's best friend Tyler suggests he make a to-do list of items that will ensure he wins the girl, Gavin is one hundred percent on board: after a few six packs.
After puking in the shrubs, a bad experience with Viagra, a Sex Ed course gone wrong, and a slew of other mishaps courtesy of his family and friends, Gavin is pretty sure this list will be the death of him.
Sometimes, trying to make someone love you with a list isn't always the best idea. Especially when "Show her your penis" is the first "to-do" item...
My Review:
First of all... I will never look at a My Little Pony the same ever again!
Our little Gavin is all grown up. He has been in love with Charlotte since he was like 9 years old and she has never thought of him as anything but a friend. Stuck in the friend zone is a horrible place to be so he and his friend Tyler devise a plan to win Charlotte's heart. They create a "list" of things that Gavin must do to show Charlotte what she means to him and hopefully help her fall in love with him in the process. This "list" consist of bright ideas such as "Take her to Cheesecake Factory, order for her, and be sure she knows money is no object". Yeah THAT will work right? I mean when I was in dating if some guy took me to Red Lobster and said I could have the all you can eat shrimp fest my panties just fell off. Poor Gavin is being lead by advise from Tyler the douche bag and Uncle Drew. Lord help him! Seems Charlotte has a list of her own in progress and has enlisted the help of the sweet guy named Rocco she's been dating who is maybe a little too sweet. Damn who wouldn't want a boyfriend who not only likes to shop with you but actually has good taste... but I digress.
This book was hysterical. I usually read while my hubs watches football or wrestling or whatever the hell it is men watch when you aren't screaming at them to turn that shit... but I laughed so hard and so often that he actually turned the TV off and went to watch in the other room. Screw him. Again I digress. I have said it before and I will say it again Tara Sivec should be in Hollywood writing for a sitcom because she is the wittiest woman on the planet.
I love that all the original characters from the Chocolate Lover's Series are back and I'll admit it was a little hard to imagine our Gavin as a man but it didn't take long to get use too. I mean I can imagine this is exactly who children raised by Claire, Carter, Jim, Liz, Drew & Jenny would grow to be. Very confident, open, loving and funny as hell human-beings. God if I could be adopted by a fictional family I would so sign up for this one. Love just oozes from them all... laughter... acceptance... and LOVE.
I didn't think I could love this book as much as I did Seduction and Snacks, but I was wrong and I seriously can not wait for the next book in this series... I hope it's Ava's book. She is a spitfire. Damn I love her...
If you are having a bad day and need to laugh... Read this book. If you are pissed off at the world and need to laugh... Read this book. If you want a sexy yet comical look at first love... Read this book. If you just want a bunch of classic quotable passages to throw at your friends at parties... Read this book. And with that here are some of my favs...
Favorite Quotes:
"Thank you Sir! How's your cholesterol? can I get you something fried and dipped in butter"
"What school did he go to Closet State?"
"My mom and I have always been unusually close. And no, I'm not talking Norman Bates and his mom close. That's just sick."
"When I am finished neutering you, I'm going to take your tiny little neuticles and light them on fire."
"Gavin's cock has roaches, pass it on!"
"Oh I'm pretty sure your penis has other ideas. He's like an angry armadillo trying to claw his way out of a bunker right now"
"You've puked in front of her, wrapped your schlong in a bow, and showed it to the entire city. You don't have it under control. What we have here is a failure to know what the fuck you're doing when it comes to chicks."
"You seriously need a girlfriend the relationship you have with Siri is disturbing"
"HE CRASHED HIS HEAD INTO MY NOO-NOO-COW" I wailed, holding my hands between my legs
"I think I need to change my tampon." "oh look a squirel!" Gavin says
About the Author:
Our little Gavin is all grown up. He has been in love with Charlotte since he was like 9 years old and she has never thought of him as anything but a friend. Stuck in the friend zone is a horrible place to be so he and his friend Tyler devise a plan to win Charlotte's heart. They create a "list" of things that Gavin must do to show Charlotte what she means to him and hopefully help her fall in love with him in the process. This "list" consist of bright ideas such as "Take her to Cheesecake Factory, order for her, and be sure she knows money is no object". Yeah THAT will work right? I mean when I was in dating if some guy took me to Red Lobster and said I could have the all you can eat shrimp fest my panties just fell off. Poor Gavin is being lead by advise from Tyler the douche bag and Uncle Drew. Lord help him! Seems Charlotte has a list of her own in progress and has enlisted the help of the sweet guy named Rocco she's been dating who is maybe a little too sweet. Damn who wouldn't want a boyfriend who not only likes to shop with you but actually has good taste... but I digress.
This book was hysterical. I usually read while my hubs watches football or wrestling or whatever the hell it is men watch when you aren't screaming at them to turn that shit... but I laughed so hard and so often that he actually turned the TV off and went to watch in the other room. Screw him. Again I digress. I have said it before and I will say it again Tara Sivec should be in Hollywood writing for a sitcom because she is the wittiest woman on the planet.
I love that all the original characters from the Chocolate Lover's Series are back and I'll admit it was a little hard to imagine our Gavin as a man but it didn't take long to get use too. I mean I can imagine this is exactly who children raised by Claire, Carter, Jim, Liz, Drew & Jenny would grow to be. Very confident, open, loving and funny as hell human-beings. God if I could be adopted by a fictional family I would so sign up for this one. Love just oozes from them all... laughter... acceptance... and LOVE.
I didn't think I could love this book as much as I did Seduction and Snacks, but I was wrong and I seriously can not wait for the next book in this series... I hope it's Ava's book. She is a spitfire. Damn I love her...
If you are having a bad day and need to laugh... Read this book. If you are pissed off at the world and need to laugh... Read this book. If you want a sexy yet comical look at first love... Read this book. If you just want a bunch of classic quotable passages to throw at your friends at parties... Read this book. And with that here are some of my favs...
Favorite Quotes:
"Thank you Sir! How's your cholesterol? can I get you something fried and dipped in butter"
"What school did he go to Closet State?"
"My mom and I have always been unusually close. And no, I'm not talking Norman Bates and his mom close. That's just sick."
"When I am finished neutering you, I'm going to take your tiny little neuticles and light them on fire."
"Gavin's cock has roaches, pass it on!"
"Oh I'm pretty sure your penis has other ideas. He's like an angry armadillo trying to claw his way out of a bunker right now"
"You've puked in front of her, wrapped your schlong in a bow, and showed it to the entire city. You don't have it under control. What we have here is a failure to know what the fuck you're doing when it comes to chicks."
"You seriously need a girlfriend the relationship you have with Siri is disturbing"
"HE CRASHED HIS HEAD INTO MY NOO-NOO-COW" I wailed, holding my hands between my legs
"I think I need to change my tampon." "oh look a squirel!" Gavin says
About the Author:
Tara Sivec is a wife, mom, chauffeur, cheerleading coach, soccer coach, babysitter, shortorder cook, genius and albino squirrel hunter. She lives in Ohio with her husband and two kids. In her spare time she likes read, write and cover things in chocolate. Most of her material comes from real life experiences wit family and friends. Lucky for them, the names have been changed to protect the innocent (aka, drunk).
Tara also writes under the pen name T.E. Sivec where she can be serious, suspenseful and not at all funny.
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