We are excited to be one of today's stops on Leylah Attar's Blog Tour for "53 Letters for my Lover". Please see below all the book & author info, buy links, and our review and then enter to win a signed paperback or $50 Amazon Gift Card. Good Luck & Happy Reading!
Synopsis
This is not your typical love story.
It’s not so black and white. Lines are crossed.
Walls are smashed. Good becomes bad.
Bad becomes very, very good.
Shayda Hijazi—the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect daughter. For thirty-three years, she has played by the rules, swallowing secrets, burying dreams and doing whatever it takes to anchor her family. Shayda Hijazi is about to come face to face with the one thing that can rip it all apart, the one thing her heart has always been denied: Love.
Troy Heathgate—untamed, exhilarating, dangerous—a man who does exactly as he pleases. Life bends to his will. Until he comes across the one thing he would give it all up for, but can never have.
Born on the same day in opposite corners of the world, their lives collide. And nothing is ever the same again.
Spanning three decades, 53 Letters for My Lover is a fiercely sensual, emotional ride to the heart of an epic, forbidden love that defies it all—an intimate exploration of love, loyalty, passion, betrayal, and the human journey for hope, happiness and redemption.
"Sexy, intense fiction isn't afraid to step out of the box."
Contemporary women's fiction: Ages 18+
Excerpt
The doorbell rings. Repeatedly. Followed by loud thumping on the door.
“Coming, coming! Now what did you what forget?” I swing the door open.
My heart screeches to a slamming halt. “Troy.” I turn pale. “You...you shouldn’t be here.”
“No?” He storms past me into the house. “Where should I be, Shayda? Waiting by the phone? Staking out your office? Checking my email? Where the fuck, Shayda?” His fist slams into the console table, so ‘fuck’ is an obscure, jarring thud, like some censored song on the radio.
“I changed my mind.”
“You changed your mind. Just like that?” He starts pacing the hallway. “And when were you were planning to tell me exactly? When, Shayda?”
“I made a mistake.” My voice quivers. “I got caught up in the moment. We were alone, we were away. It was...it was all an illusion.”
“An illusion?” He pulls me hard against him. Our bodies collide, knocking the breath out of me. “Is this an illusion?”
His lips assault mine.
“And this?” His hand slides under my dress, claiming my thigh.
“What about this, Shayda?” He pushes my panties aside and slides two fingers inside.
“Tell me, Shayda. Tell me this is all in my head.” He shoves me against the door and deepens his strokes. “Tell me this is nothing.” He rubs his fingers on my neck, leaving the unmistakable trail of my reaction.
“This is you, Shayda.” His finger slips inside my mouth. “Your taste, your smell, your skin, your touch.” He grabs me by the hair and pulls my head back. “Tell me you’re not real, Shayda. Tell me!”
I feel the gathump gathump of his heart. Our breath comes in short, shallow gasps. His eyes darken, black holes pushing sky blue irises to the edges of raw emotion. Hunger. Anger. Love. Pain.
Our Review
5 Star *****
Wow what can I say about this love affair that spans decades? Troy and Shayda were fated. It’s that simple. But timing can be cruel… choices can be impossible… and love can hurt. Oh can it hurt.
From the very beginning Shayda is pawn. A pawn used by her family. She takes everything in stride. A semi-arranged marriage, a broken husband too trapped by his own demons to really see her, a controlling and needy mother, poverty. With her head held high (or down as it were) and just letting things happen to her instead of actually participating in life. That is until Troy literally slams into her world. This over top, sexy, full of life man who is the exact opposite of her in every way. She spends the next few years of her life trying to avoid him and yet clinging to him. A moth to the flame.
Troy has is all. He comes from a wealthy family who loves him. He has friends. Lots of women throwing themselves at him. He’s a visionary with a great career ahead of him. He should be living the dream. However, all he dreams about is a golden skinned, exotic beauty, the one thing he can not have. His Beetroot Butterfly. Isn’t that the way it always goes? You can have anything you want in the world except “that” and “that” is the only thing you desire. Life sucks.
In this broken tale of love and self sacrifice we follow the highs and lows of these two halves of a whole. The passion, the betrayal, the joy, the guilt, the pride, the great leaps. We see how trying to hold something together out of a sense of duty only breaks it more. How always doing the right things doesn’t guarantee happiness. If you deny yourself happiness can anyone who loves you ever be happy?
I think in all of this Troy is the one I was most impressed with. He was the one always on the outside looking in. He is the one who by all intents and purposes is foot loose and fancy free and he never once blinks at the burden or “full quiver” that comes with loving Shayda. He just loves her. All of her. All that comes with her.
This book is a journey. A slow building journey. One that aggravates you. One that will annoy you. One you might be tempted to just put down and walk away from. DON’T. Please hear me…. DON’T! Emerge yourself and keep going. You will not be disappointed. The writing style is very fluid and almost lyrical and in the end you will be so glad to have traveled the distance with these characters. This was my first read by Leylah Attar but it will most definitely not be my last.
Favorite Quotes
“So what's it like? To have it all?
Like flying. Soaring. Until you come across the one thing you'd give it all up for, and can never have.”
"We have an infinite capacity to love, but when you wrap up your love and give it to someone, they expect all of it. And that’s what you think too—that you’re giving them everything you’ve got. You really do. Until you realize that love is end-less, bottom-less, boundary-less. The more you give, the more gushes out. It spills over, refusing to be contained in neat little parcels, swelling like a river after a flash flood. And in the end, it doesn’t matter which part was whose, because in the end it’s all one, like streams merging into the ocean”
Trailer
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*53 Letters for Your Lover has a companion novella in Troy’s POV titled From His Lips. Below are some quotes from both Shayda and Troy in their POV from their respective books. It is now free on Amazon.... Purchase here: Amazon
"He Said/She Said" with Shayda and Troy
The first time they meet:
Shayda:
Dusty sneakers, grey sweatpants…and then—the most startling pair of blue eyes. They reminded me of the cut outs I had saved in my wish book, of the places I wanted to visit. Blue like the water that surrounds the islands in the South Pacific. I felt like I had been picked off the pavement and plopped smack dab in the middle of it. I floated there for a while, suspended in its endless horizons as it held me for long, still seconds.
Troy:
“Here you go.” I knelt beside her. That’s when I first saw her face.
At the time, I was completely clueless about just how significant that moment was, how it would derail both our lives, because at the time I was just an ordinary guy looking at an ordinary girl on a quiet, shaded street. That’s how a lot of things start, don’t they? Our most profound experiences, our greatest adventures. When we’re just looking. Because if we knew that we were really at the beginning of miracles and plagues, and slayings and resurrections, we might retreat. But not knowing, I kept looking. And so did she.
Except she didn’t just look at me, she looked into me. As if she saw a place there that she’d always wanted to go, and it stunned her that it actually existed.
The moment when everything changed:
Shayda:
For a moment, I fought against the disarming tenderness of a stranger, the shame of being caught in a moment of weakness. Then his arms circled my waist, pulling me away from the door, from whatever heartache he had witnessed in my reflection. The fight drained out of me. I turned into the shelter of his embrace, and he, not knowing, not asking, took me in.
Something changed in that instant. For me. For him. Like when the sun and moon align and day turns to night. They finally see each other’s faces and hang, transfixed, even as their eclipse throws everything else into darkness. For those fleeting moments, everything made sense—the pattern behind the random trajectory of life, the infinite order beneath chaos.
Troy:
For a while, she just stood there, like a deer that knows it’s been caught in the hunter’s cross hairs. Then she bolted.
I seized her before she could escape, pinning her against the glass, my hand over hers, so I could anchor her, keep her from getting swept away.
Hey. It’s okay.
She made a small, choking sound when I pulled her away from the sliding door. My arms went around her and her cheek found my chest. And just like that, something fell into place.
All of my wild, crazy exuberance fit perfectly in the quiet crevices of her dreams. It was as if all my life, I had been running towards this moment, this diamond sharp clarity of being and belonging, this strange, intriguing girl with her rose breath and her broken wings.
The point of no return:
Shayda:
“Three days.” I drop my chin to his chest. “I haven’t thought beyond that.”
“Three days, huh?”
I squeal as he puts one hand under my knees and picks me up.
“We better get going then. You, my dear, have a lot to make up for.” He grins and carries me out of his office.
Troy:
I had three days to get her to face the truth—that she loved me, that she wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t left a gaping hole in her heart, that the only reason she wouldn’t admit it was because she was scared, because it would destroy everything safe and familiar and predictable in her world.
I didn’t care anymore. She would go through hell, but I’d be there to catch her. All I had to do was crush her defenses, lead a seventy-two hour assault on her senses and walk away with her heart in my hand. She would have no choice but to follow.
Author Bio and Links:
Leylah Attar writes stories about love - shaken, stirred and served with a twist. When she's not writing, she can be found pursuing her other passions: photography, food, family and travel. Sometimes she disappears into the black hole of the internet, but can usually be enticed out with chocolate.
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